Roots n Wings

I look around and I see huge mansions, few cars in the front yard and two random souls moving around. They are doing every possible effort to follow a strict routine. Regular walks, regular blood tests and updated knowledge about new established doctors and new diseases. Everything is so well placed. I can never reach such a state of awareness as the generation of our parents. Ever time I listen in to their conversations, I swell with pride the way they have established themselves after the migration and being uprooted from their homes. They made sure that our generation had all the facilities, good food to eat, good clothes to wear, best schools, adequate money was always made available for us even if we simply misused it. They have made sure that we are well equipped with best of the educational qualifications.

By Gods grace and our parents support most of us are doing very well in life.
The random conversations when you have visitors at Jammu, standard questions are asked…like how are kids doing …which company is he/she now in ….which place or more specific which country is he settled now …so on and so forth….
It’s actually fun to observe how our parents feel proud and brag about us. It always nice to be home.

Like every story has two sides, the other side of this story is really sad and deafening.
I look around and I see huge mansions, few cars in the front yard and two random souls moving around………..
And then the whole mansion comes down crumbling when you hear them share tales that their children don’t want to be with parents, all this generation wants is to be free from any responsibilities ….and it goes on with all sighs and tears rolling down. Oh it’s really sad and devastating. The discussions turn into melancholy. And suddenly all land in the same boat of being left alone to fend for themselves.
None of them now brag about the placement and country of settlement. The gloom engulfs them all like a tornado and sucks them in.

In this chaos when judgments are being passed about our generation ….. I know what we have become is only because of our parents.
So here I am speaking for my generation….We have done everything that ‘You’ as our well wishers wanted us to do.
We studied and did not bother about anything beyond that. You said that we have nothing left after the migration and the only thing that will make us survive is education. I am a survivor Daddy and Mummy. A successful one. You must be proud. Where did I faulter. You said first priority must be given to my career, and that nothing else matters. I did my best at this Daddy.
When I was home and relatives visited us , if i would sit for more than five minutes with them, mummy you exhibited expressions which told me ‘vanish and go back to your room and study’. And I went back into my den. It was my favourite cousins wedding and you asked me how many revisions had I done.
There was a death in the house and mummy I was not allowed to mourn, because I had to study and focus on my future. I focused on my mathematical calculations Daddy.
You said look at your cousins they all are settled abroad, learn how they made their life. I learnt from them mummy. I am a successful professional now …Living somewhere in the world.
When I was not doing well in my studies or was not getting a job and wanted to come back home…..Daddy you said stay put, struggle and work hard. I did it all.
I am doing a lot lot more than what you told me to.
I have a huge mansion, few cars and I have a routine in life. I am totally focused on my child’s studies the way you were. I am so grateful to you Daddy and Mummy. I am guiding the next generation for success. Much more successful than myself.
Amidst all of this I just want to clear this Daddy and Mummy, I not scared of responsibility…..I am doing everything that you said is important. “Being Succesful”
So why this melancholy now ….why these tears now…why after visiting us you say you feel alone …..I did it all the way I was supposed to …the way you wanted me to…..

But there is one thing that I will not do ….I will not groom my child for being “just successful”. I am trying to keep the child in him alive even if he reaches class 6.
I will make sure my child knows his side of the family ….the stories.
I will make sure that he keeps in touch with his loved ones. I will not tell him talking with family is a waste of time. I will let him know mathematical calculations are as important as knowing the colours.
I will not hide family problems because he will get disturbed and that will affect his studies.
I will tell him stories about you and my childhood. And it will not be at the cost of his studies.
Daddy and Mummy I am not trying to prove what you did wrong …..I am simply adding colours to your perfect pyramid of successful life…….

In hope …..that our next generation reaches to the pinnacle of this “perfectly (Daddy’s way) Beautiful(My way)” pyramid .. and enjoys the view …..

You gave me wings to soar high and I am trying to give my child roots with wings…

PS: Mamma…I am coming home 🏠

Challenges Faced By Women Entrepreneurs

The word “Entrepreneur ” translates into “Adventurer” in French. When a woman sets out for a “business adventure” the word entrepreneur is preceeded by “woman”. This changes the complete connotation.
Although “Women Entrepreneurs” have hit the business sector with a storm ,yet the challenges they face in comparison to their male counterparts are immense.

Here are few challenges faced by women entrepreneurs

1) A Man’s world
Most of the developed countries and India in particular is a male dominant entrepreneurship country. Gender biasness has always been a big obstacle in path of female entrepreneurship.
Although the scenario is rapidly changing but there is still long way to go.

2) Raising Funds
Women face lot of difficulty and discrimination in obtaining a venture capital. A large number of Indian women do not have property or assets to their names. Hence they encounter problems while applying for loans.
Also the family members do not encourage and hesitate to invest money in the business venture initiated by a women entrepreneur.

3) Socio Cultural Challenge
Men generally play a secondary role when it comes of household responsibilities. Most of the burden is shared by the woman of the house. So achieving the work life balance becomes a far fetched dream and an exhausting one as well.

4) Building a support network
With the present age of social media, networking is the thumb rule. The success of any business depends on the access to connections and equity with people who can help.
Women entrepreneurs need to shift from “what you should know” to ” who you should know”.

5) Mobility
Women face a stiff competition from men due to their limited mobility.
Traveling around is still a tough job for lower middle class women entrepreneurs of India due to their primary responsibility towards family.

6)Low Risk bearing Ability
In India women lead a protected life and most of them are not economically self dependent . These factors reduce the ability to bear risk.
Risk bearing is a requisite of a successful business.

Mindful way of running ….

Sometimes, to really know the real worth of the new, one has to go back to the old. That’s what I did today. I deliberately did not follow any ways of Chi Running and here are my observations.

• I always missed being quick in the past one month, so here I was pumping my lungs out and checking my watch. And soon my first bubble burst because of the excess oxygen I filled it with 😂😂.
  I took breaks after every kilometre, which is totally unlike me. I tried to pick up pace again without bothering about my posture and soon enough I found myself walking again.
  So another pin goes into the balloon …..Well begun is half done and it’s difficult to do better in between.
  I always completed my planned circuit with much vigor and enthusiasm. But today, I simply wanted to go back home. My back was already stiff, I was the invigilator for today and the results must be compiled meticulously.
  Even though I knew I had lost weight still I felt like a mountain… It was time to levitate or my husband had to be Hanumana and carry the … Meru Parvat.
  To cut the long story short, somehow I completed the circuit not because I wanted to, but because I had to.
  In the end this was the worst run day and the best learning run ….
  Lesson learnt – Chi way of running makes lot of sense. Summed up by Vimal ..
• You do injury free running (he is happy to mention about being 40+ years and how prone we are 😂😂😂)
• You will enjoy the runs unlike today.
• You will do much longer distance and without much worry about time. So Garmin go back to him😭😭😭
• The most imp. ….Since Chi is not about pace…Fauji Bhai is simply happy that I am not a competition anymore. Here I would like to mention that I was ahead of him in few runs.
• The best one for the last….this is what he said …I will also learn and we will grow old together running the Che way ….And like an emotional fool I agreed and pledged to follow, practice and propagate this mindful way of running …..
  In the end ….thank you Brig Parminder for being an ever encouraging guide.
  There are times one has to take the wrong path to realise the right path…..

Death that pushed me to live more…..

I was performing my daily ritual of scrolling the facebook page and planning for my upload. Yesterday was my 40th bday and fortunatelyI have friends and they have great cameras. All the marination was done and to perfection. It was time to upload my dish. As my thumb was just sliding up and up in a loop there was a familiar face, a paper cutting was uploaded. The pattern of the cutting is embedded in brain if you are from Jammu and have ever flipped “Daily excelsior”. It was an obituary.
My heart sank and went cold.
This was my batch mate.
In a very causal manner I had mention ” Not many make it to 40″. It was just said and never felt, then.
Now, I am struggling to decipher “How could he not” ?
While all of this sudden shock had totally shaken me and I am not able to do my daily routine. I am sad and I feel guilty if I do anything that echoes that I am enjoying life.

Today when I know ” not many have made it to their 40th bday” the obituary has further strengthened me to celebrate life as much as I could. His face reminds me that the only thing we can celebrate is life as long as we are alive. Death is not in our hands, and we are not here to do anything about that. So I pledge I will enjoy life and being alive.
And I will do everything to live life . I will cherish my memories of 18th jan 2020….and upload the pics soon .. Happy living

It is the power to talk that puts us way ahead of all other species. So instead of communication I termed it Talk. If you have one thing to say wait for few minutes, we don’t even need anybody else to speak with. We are well equipped with making mountain out of a mole hill.
Causal satires or jokes or even general conversations are scrutinized, peeled and hammered to death. By the time it reaches back to the origin I am amazed at our vivid imagination and interpretations.
We don’t miss a chance to read …be it between the lines ….the eyes …the actions…everthing…whether it is legible or not we still read.
We are brilliant observers. We should be paid for it. We already know what’s coming next. …..who is saying what and why….
Although we believe we are from Venus and that we are gifted.
And somehow even the men from the Mars seem to have fought for this gift.
But they can never compete with us.
Like always… Gifts need to be unwrapped and reveal itself….
This is when the big bang happens…
Tear the ribbon and get set go on the voyage of using our grey matter.

Have it use it …all the time. That’s the mantra we follow.
Hey …..my kind …please don’t read between the lines while reading this.
Dont get me wrong. I am a proud overthinking woman.

It’s good to be busy mentally as well but please don’t overload yourself. Don’t think too much. Let the incidents or the situations unfold. That’s how the universe is supposed to be.
Our grey matter is too worked up to even enjoy a conversation. All along we have become interpreters.

Please don’t teach me similies and metaphors so that I try not to find the hidden meanings.
Teach me being simply direct and let everyone be at peace including me.
Read me simple stories and I am happier than when you finish Macbeth.
Teach me to say “hello, how are you doing?”
Teach me to respond positively and without the speck of doubt that the word “why” creates.
Teach me to be me and view other as they are …Not as I perceive…
May God be with us….and hope to get a manual on “How and why not to overuse His Gift”..

Think Less Think Big…

I am The COW, and I refuse to do these 5 things ….For only specific audience

1. It just moves an inch and the tremors are felt all around. Bingo……that’s a Godzilla. You heard me right, Godzilla. Well size does matter and I do not appreciate throwing weight on other. Let me carry it on my strong shoulders and move gracefully. Ya word of caution to myself……..Need to keep in check the actual weight. 🏃‍♀️
2. I refuse to wait for a salutations. I prefer it like a scene from Wild Wild West movies. We simply shoot….not bullets of course. I may not have the gift of gab but I know how to say Hello or Namaskar.🙏
3. I refuse to have “that look.” It’s nice to have “dimpled chin” but I don’t agree with “teeth within”. One life, live it or leave it. I might be thin lipped but I love to laugh and show off my perfectly placed dentures.💃🤡
4. I refuse to do it all by myself. I am not perfect and I don’t know many things. And yes I do know a few quite well. But I can not accomplish anything alone. I need the support. Wondering why Atlas never asked for help and preferred to shrug than stand upright. 
5. I refuse to fulfill anybody’s expectations. I will be me and I promise to do my best.🐵🙊🙈

Happy Mooing ……🐄

BOlt…..Exactly typed as narrated by Abeer

On my birthday I got puppy 🐶. One of my uncle got it for me. He had a red ribbon 🎀 on his neck and was sitting in a basket. Everybody was playing with him. Then I decided his name. I decided it would be …………..Bolt ⚡️ !!!!!! And my mum used to call him BOLTU 😱.
His favorite food was curd. When mum used to bang his spoon on his bowl he would come running. And he used to lick the bowl till it was shining clean. I used to carry him in my lap. And once he even peed on my lap 🤣🤣. One day I went with him to the park and he was following me all along until he was too tired, he just barked to stop me. I stoped and carried him and put him in his box 📦. He used to sleep 😴 on my fathers shoulder and then I used to sleep on the other shoulder. My mum has the picture of it.
One day Bolt ⚡️ was sick. we went to the Vet. The vet gave him some injections. But still he was not well. And one day he died. 😵😭.
When he died we dug in some plain ground and put him in with all his belongings.
When I see any dog now I miss my pet Bolt ⚡️.
One day I hope I get another pet dog.

Just like that

It is always a typical smell that reminds you a place or a person. And iodine is capable of leaving deep impressions and every brush with it deepens the fear.
I have survived heart breaks but the prick to find out my blood type is cruelty. It hurts. You think you are prepared but usually you are caught off guard. That’s the simplest, easiest and harmless introduction to Abode of Gods on earth…..it is the Hospital that’s where it starts.
You enter the abode wishing for all miracles. The only place you try not to question the existence of God. The faith suddenly swells up. Probably the only place where we learn to trust. First the Doctors and then the God.
Despite all of this nobody wants to go there ever.
We want to save ourselves from all life threatening diseases without going through the prick of immunization.
Every thing evolves and so have the hospitals.
The smell of iodine no more welcomes you. The trap door  flungs and it is more of Hotel California than a hospital. That’s how these new modern Mediclinics ….hospitals …….have transformed.
Make up is just for a coverup it will never heal. The eyes are still hoping in despair, patients are still suffering, doctors are still wondering, the room is filled with warm breaths and prayer are yet to be answered.

If you have been through these glasses doors you shall agree to this.

Lehakoe…..sweat makes you shine

Running… ….. well it’s something not very common thing for Indians. We simply run. And we run late most of the times. I am an accidental and seasonal fitness freak, which means ph…

Source: Lehakoe…..sweat makes you shine

Lehakoe…..sweat makes you shine

Running… ….. well it’s something not very common thing for Indians. We simply run. And we run late most of the times. I am an accidental and seasonal fitness freak, which means physical activity is not even last on my list of priorities. I have just two states, I am fit or I just don’t fit in anything.
Being on the treadmill feels like Everest summit. First two minutes the flag is fluttering high and suddenly there is an urge to just run, of course it’s not on it but away from it.
I have tried every trick of the trade. Right from buying MP4 to matching time with the hunks, alas nothing pushes me to move on.
While I was whiling away my time on the sweat machine, one cannot help but notice these perfect ladies. All fit and happy.
It took me no time to join the band wagon of these chirrupy females. The gym is a place to explore. But one has to muster all the courage to be shameless and ask for help.
These butterflies were not new to the system. They seemed to have what it takes to be in that dreaded room. Well I am a woman and felt the women power. So I just took the leap of faith and let myself be drenched in this new sweat room.
So the beats go 123 up 123 change 123 left 123 right and repeat and change. Suddenly I looked down and two left feet were staring back at me . I still tried. My brain was following the instructions and my eyes were chasing the instructor. She was very fast and another lady in front of me was wee bit slow. So I loved her. I followed the fellow lady. I did well. Suddenly there was a short circuit. My gaze was fixed and my brain, definitely it was not working. I went 123 left 123 right and then a small pause lead to a temporary halt. I was a tree now. My feet were glued. I was thoroughly embarrassed but still 😩tried. The rhythm feels excruciatingly painful.
The only person concerned about your bad performance is you and then the instructor.
She did her best to encourage and engage my mind and body. But if the wiring is different It just cannot be done. I repeated the same single step for 45 mins. I was exhausted and happy that I bathed in sweat. I never felt so clean and light. The calories had just left me.

But was I ready to come back tomorrow. The answer was NO.
Soon I see another door opening and what I saw my eyes could not believe. Trust me, excess is shocking and exciting. And sweat in excess is Nirvana. I knew where to go now. The board read “Spinning Class”.

Was I ready to come back tomorrow? The answer was positive.

PS: Lehakoe is my gym in Maseru, Lesotho. It means Jewel in Sesotho.