I am The COW, and I refuse to do these 5 things ….For only specific audience

IMG_03631. It just moves an inch and the tremors are felt all around. Bingo……that’s a Godzilla. You heard me right, Godzilla. Well size does matter and I do not appreciate throwing weight on other. Let me carry it on my strong shoulders and move gracefully. Ya word of caution to myself……..Need to keep in check the actual weight. 🏃‍♀️
2. I refuse to wait for a salutations. I prefer it like a scene from Wild Wild West movies. We simply shoot….not bullets of course. I may not have the gift of gab but I know how to say Hello or Namaskar.🙏
3. I refuse to have “that look.” It’s nice to have “dimpled chin” but I don’t agree with “teeth within”. One life, live it or leave it. I might be thin lipped but I love to laugh and show off my perfectly placed dentures.💃🤡
4. I refuse to do it all by myself. I am not perfect and I don’t know many things. And yes I do know a few quite well. But I can not accomplish anything alone. I need the support. Wondering why Atlas never asked for help and preferred to shrug than stand upright. IMG_0364
5. I refuse to fulfill anybody’s expectations. I will be me and I promise to do my best.🐵🙊🙈

Happy Mooing ……🐄


BOlt…..Exactly typed as narrated by Abeer

On my birthday I got puppy 🐶. One of my uncle got it for me. He had a red ribbon 🎀 on his neck and was sitting in a basket. Everybody was playing with him. Then I decided his name. I decided it would be …………..Bolt ⚡️ !!!!!! And my mum used to call him BOLTU 😱.
His favorite food was curd. When mum used to bang his spoon on his bowl he would come running. And he used to lick the bowl till it was shining clean. I used to carry him in my lap. And once he even peed on my lap 🤣🤣. One day I went with him to the park and he was following me all along until he was too tired, he just barked to stop me. I stoped and carried him and put him in his box 📦. He used to sleep 😴 on my fathers shoulder and then I used to sleep on the other shoulder. My mum has the picture of it.
One day Bolt ⚡️ was sick. we went to the Vet. The vet gave him some injections. But still he was not well. And one day he died. 😵😭.
When he died we dug in some plain ground and put him in with all his belongings.
When I see any dog now I miss my pet Bolt ⚡️.
One day I hope I get another pet dog.

Just like that

It is always a typical smell that reminds you a place or a person. And iodine is capable of leaving deep impressions and every brush with it deepens the fear.
I have survived heart breaks but the prick to find out my blood type is cruelty. It hurts. You think you are prepared but usually you are caught off guard. That’s the simplest, easiest and harmless introduction to Abode of Gods on earth…..it is the Hospital that’s where it starts.
You enter the abode wishing for all miracles. The only place you try not to question the existence of God. The faith suddenly swells up. Probably the only place where we learn to trust. First the Doctors and then the God.
Despite all of this nobody wants to go there ever.
We want to save ourselves from all life threatening diseases without going through the prick of immunization.
Every thing evolves and so have the hospitals.
The smell of iodine no more welcomes you. The trap door  flungs and it is more of Hotel California than a hospital. That’s how these new modern Mediclinics ….hospitals …….have transformed.
Make up is just for a coverup it will never heal. The eyes are still hoping in despair, patients are still suffering, doctors are still wondering, the room is filled with warm breaths and prayer are yet to be answered.

If you have been through these glasses doors you shall agree to this.

Lehakoe…..sweat makes you shine

Running… ….. well it’s something not very common thing for Indians. We simply run. And we run late most of the times. I am an accidental and seasonal fitness freak, which means physical activity is not even last on my list of priorities. I have just two states, I am fit or I just don’t fit in anything.
Being on the treadmill feels like Everest summit. First two minutes the flag is fluttering high and suddenly there is an urge to just run, of course it’s not on it but away from it.
I have tried every trick of the trade. Right from buying MP4 to matching time with the hunks, alas nothing pushes me to move on.
While I was whiling away my time on the sweat machine, one cannot help but notice these perfect ladies. All fit and happy.
It took me no time to join the band wagon of these chirrupy females. The gym is a place to explore. But one has to muster all the courage to be shameless and ask for help.
These butterflies were not new to the system. They seemed to have what it takes to be in that dreaded room. Well I am a woman and felt the women power. So I just took the leap of faith and let myself be drenched in this new sweat room.
So the beats go 123 up 123 change 123 left 123 right and repeat and change. Suddenly I looked down and two left feet were staring back at me . I still tried. My brain was following the instructions and my eyes were chasing the instructor. She was very fast and another lady in front of me was wee bit slow. So I loved her. I followed the fellow lady. I did well. Suddenly there was a short circuit. My gaze was fixed and my brain, definitely it was not working. I went 123 left 123 right and then a small pause lead to a temporary halt. I was a tree now. My feet were glued. I was thoroughly embarrassed but still 😩tried. The rhythm feels excruciatingly painful.
The only person concerned about your bad performance is you and then the instructor.
She did her best to encourage and engage my mind and body. But if the wiring is different It just cannot be done. I repeated the same single step for 45 mins. I was exhausted and happy that I bathed in sweat. I never felt so clean and light. The calories had just left me.

But was I ready to come back tomorrow. The answer was NO.
Soon I see another door opening and what I saw my eyes could not believe. Trust me, excess is shocking and exciting. And sweat in excess is Nirvana. I knew where to go now. The board read “Spinning Class”.

Was I ready to come back tomorrow? The answer was positive.

PS: Lehakoe is my gym in Maseru, Lesotho. It means Jewel in Sesotho.

The Nemesis of Detachment….

Incidents occur in and around the world. Well most of the times we just shrug our shoulders and dust off assuring ourselves that it does not involve me. And the time we feel it hitting hard, I feel like the “Atlas shrugged.” In yoga we are taught the art of detachment. It is extremely difficult to peel off from what’s happening around you and affecting you. This “affecting me”and “around me” has no scale.

 One person is upset because the food on his plate is not of his choice. So it affects him and disturbs him. It is as simple as this. 

Another person looks at his plate, the food is not of his choice. But the thought that there is a child dying of hunger, he is upset. So it affects him as well. It’s as vast and complex as this.

I buy a dress of my choice and I am exhilarated. So it affects me. 

Someone sent a box of chocolates to the orphanage and smiled. So it affected him as well.

In case of bigger issues like the ever doubting Nations, somehow we have learnt to be detached.

In case of bigger issues like the ever doubting relationships, somehow we have not learnt to be detached.

We tend to follow “What does not touch my skin and heart is not my problem”. We have amazing filters. We allow only that we want not what must be. 

I have seen people mocking death. Because it has not touched me so it does not sound that bad. And sadly when it happens it’s not them who are affected but somebody else’s heart is touched and they feel the pain and existence of the inevitable.

The day you are sure of your death, you will naturally learn the art of detachment. Here is when awakening of the world and beyond becomes more powerful than ever and the pure attachment with your karma takes birth. 

So now it’s not about my flesh and blood….it is my universe and doing my bit to make it better. In a way we must be completely attached to universe. We must motivate ourselves to channelize us for the best of the mankind. 

To be able to do anything like this we need to widen our horizons. Notice this moment. Pay attention to the ordinary. I can be happy and I can be sad. Accept and understand the impermanence. Understanding the causes and the effect is the reality. You do not live by yourself. We are together, we all are connected. Numerous times we hear people expressing gratitude. That’s grace. Some see it in the fellow beings and some see it in the unseen. Be generous and spread the good that’s in you. You will sense the joy of this transitory world. 

We all have the seed of compassion. So how can we not feel the sufferings of others. We must nurture and let it grow. That’s when the shining bubble of pleasure will vanish. Thats when the mundane will become marvellous.
Don’t shield your loved ones from the profound troubles of life. Let us and them be aware. Let there be spiritual hunger. Self reflections and effort to improve, together lead to deeper awareness.

Be like the top of the mountain who is aware of what is happening around. Be like the earth. Be there despite anything. Look around, know what’s happening, have a view, have a counter view as well , feel your pulse and then contribute.
Life is glorious and for all we know, this might be Heaven.

My Space……

It all starts with us being a speck in the womb and expanding our space until we just breakthrough. We go on ever expanding and ever moving only to reach the end, of which we have no idea like our beginning. 
Space is finite and if anything is expanding, something else is shrinking.

“My Space” seems to be a misnomer. Is being professionally successful or doing what You like define “My Space”or my identity?

We humans are born bankers. We invest everywhere. When returns “happiness” are visible, we keep pumping in the precious we have. But if there is little slump in the market, we are too impatient and retrieve ourselves in no time. Suddenly, the need for “My Space” is inevitable.

Too much attention is given to it these days, which is good. Conclusions are drawn, the whole TV industry is minting money on showcasing women protagonists and in most of the debates the speakers are Always women.

Believe me whoever comes on earth aquires space and tries to expand. So it’s not about men or women. It’s about human race.

We all have a habit of imposing ourselves on others. Mothers on daughters/sons, brothers on sisters, daughter in law on in laws, bosses on subordinates, subordinates on each other, friends on friends it’s a mesh of relations.

The most difficult one is meeting anything new. The moment a new born child latches to his/her mother, that’s the initiation of control and rest everything else falls in sequence.

A child’s mind is a clean slate and we scribble it and all the actions are motivated to melt the new life into ours. Most of the times we are successful but a few of us may not agree to this.

Whenever we meet someone who has spent a few years on earth, their pages are already embossed.

But as our never changing habit is, we try to still mould them. Moulding of metals requires excess of heat. The process involves sparks of anger, dissatisfaction, discontent and there is lot of heat. All of this leads to a total unhappy space around us which wAs once full of joy when all we had was a home and the people we knew were the family.

Each individual here is a galaxy in itself. We have tendency to collide and instead of complete amalgamation, we are random and dominant. It’s all contradicting either we can be together or random. This again leads to conflict and again we yearn for “My Space”.

My own space is just mine, I was born with it. My own space is my opinion, my want ,everything that makes me.

Being a daughter, mother , wife, daughter in law, husband, son does not take away any part of my space. I have compartmentlised my space into all these roles. And everyday I am happy to see one new space created in my space. So inclusion seems to be the trick. Like they say it’s never black or white. So all of this is my space, full of colors. I enjoy living here most of the time and few times I do not.

I intentionally try not to overlap my space on others, this creates dark patches and traps lot of negative energy. Also I understand not everybody can reciprocate.

Nature has bestowed me the womb so it becomes easy for me to understand and nurture space. If I want something I will create it within me. I will not impose or overlap on someone else. 

I cannot be happy by just being a financially independent women or a carrier woman or a wife or a daughter. I am happy because I am able to be all of them together. I am in control and responsible for everything that is happening because I made choices at everystep of my life.

I am my universe, I am my space. (Touchwood)

What inspires me to blog……..

Everyone has a story. And there are some who are very good at narrating theirs. Others need to learn. My first blog happened not because I was inspired, but because I was pushed to perform. Trust me I did alright. Since then I feel motivated, inspired and now I love to write. It’s always that small push which starts a new journey. My journey as a blogger continued only because I believe my experiences are different from anyone else and so is my writing. My writing does not stand a chance against literary scrutiny, still I know there is a place under the sun for me…….


There were many shocking after affects of these interactions as well….. enjoy this one

  •  while coming back from work in a local bus in Delhi, all one can experience is your body rubbing against the world. That day must have been lucky when I got a corner of a bench to rest on. So this merciful lady was generally sharing how bad the travel is. Half way through our journey it turned out that we live in same area. Her family had a shop in the market place and her brother was running it. I was happy to sit and she seemed happy to share.
    Now is the curtain raiser, bang…I get a marriage proposal and she was confident that her brother will like me. For next few months any good looking shop owner in the locality made my heart race. I still wonder what made her so sure of me and her brother as well….. sisters 😂😂
  • It might sound strange to many that I had an opportunity to meet and decide within 20 mins about my life partner. In the process I met many so called eligible bachelors. It was always a random meeting, random conversations and deliberate effort to make a decision. Funny !!! But that’s how it works in our part of the world. We try to make impressions, of course nice ones. But we all conclude everything in a jiffy. I do not want to sound stupid but at that moment that’s how it was. Trust me It is absolutely normal.
    I remember one such “Barista meeting”. That’s where I met all of them except for the one I finally hooked up with. This guy was nice. He made a good impression but it was a hopeless day for me. We concluded this will not go any further. But the best part is yet to be shared. He took out a paper and showed a list. List of all the eligible girls he was meeting that day. We had fun. Though I don’t remember his name but I still want to know what happened next…….
  • Best conversations are usually in open air. I too had them while traveling in a second class train all throughout my college years. The wind blows and pushes you from all sides. The familiar gazes you receive in a long journey, that’s where it all starts. When you are a college student all aunties in the world take upon themselves to feed you. Also when there is natures call, just a look and a hint to take care of the belongings is enough to cement the bond. In most of these conversations, all I did was to clear the confusion about my native place i.e Jammu and Kashmir are two different places approximately 300 kms apart. It snows in Kashmir but not in Jammu and so on.
  • Beauty saloon is one place where I lose the motivation to initiate any interaction. There the professionals are very well equipped with sharp scissors, expert hands, sharp eyes and sugar coated tongue. Probably my rescue visits once in a while put both the parties in a hostile situation. So as she starts saying ‘oh your skin is so sensitive’ I just nod my head. As I am told my eyebrow are naturally well shaped, I tend to agree. I am so much in the moment of exchanging how in my family even the boys have arched eyes brows but somehow can’t bring myself to it and I suddenly shut up. Eventually most of my visits end up in disappointment.


to be continued……..

Deliberate conversations with random souls — Archana Dhar

Why would anyone talk to random people? Sounds strange !!!! Since childhood we are warned of strangers. And most of us grow believing strangers are dangerous. One doubtful gaze from a child and you want to prove that you are the most sensitive soul around. Hypocrites…..thats what we are. An expression of gratitude to my […]

via Deliberate conversations with random souls — Archana Dhar